Martial Arts Magazine Australia

I started training with a friend of mine and at first it was great we were both learning together, but I have started to take my journey more seriously. I want to grade up the ranks and maybe teach someday. He on the other hand, is happy to slack off and talk through training. It annoys me and I am afraid it will ruin our friendship.

Dear Martial Artist,

I understand your concern, and it’s a situation that many martial artists encounter during their journey. Balancing friendship with the pursuit of personal goals in martial arts can be challenging. Here are some steps you can consider:

Open Communication: Sit down with your friend and have an open, honest conversation about your respective goals and expectations. Express your passion for martial arts and your desire to advance, possibly to a teaching level. Ensure your friend understands the importance of your commitment.

Set Boundaries: Establish training boundaries together. Let your friend know that when it’s time to train, you will adopt a focused and disciplined approach. Make it clear that there is a time and place for socialising, but during training, your primary focus is on learning and progressing.

Lead by Example: Demonstrate your dedication through consistent effort, discipline, and progress. Your dedication may inspire your friend to take training more seriously. Be a positive role model in your training sessions.

Find Common Ground: Identify areas where you can both benefit from training together. Explore shared interests or goals that align with your training sessions, which can keep the friendship intact while still allowing for progress.

Seek Additional Training Partners: If your friend’s approach consistently hinders your progress and causes frustration, consider seeking additional training partners or joining a class where you can surround yourself with individuals who share your level of commitment.

Maintain Perspective: Remember that martial arts is a personal journey, and each person progresses at their own pace. While your paths may diverge in training intensity, it doesn’t have to negatively impact your friendship if you communicate openly and respect each other’s choices.

Ultimately, the key is finding a balance that allows you to pursue your martial arts goals while maintaining a positive relationship with your friend. It may take time and effort, but with clear communication and mutual understanding, you can navigate this situation successfully.
Best of luck.

---

Help! children are ruining my training sessions. I am in the beginner’s class at my karate dojo and there are quite a few children in the class. They always muck up and slow the pace of the class. I understand we are a small club, but how can I encourage them to behave without looking like an ‘asshole’? I need my training time too.

Dear Martial Artist,
It’s understandable that you want to make the most of your training sessions, but it’s important to approach this situation with empathy and consideration for the children and their parents. Here are some steps you can take to address the issue without coming across as harsh:

Talk to the Instructor: Start by discussing your concerns with your karate instructor privately. Share your perspective on how the children’s behavior is affecting your training experience. In many cases, instructors are already aware of such issues and can make adjustments or provide guidance.

Offer to Assist: If you feel comfortable and have the skills to do so, offer to assist the instructor during certain parts of the class. This could involve helping the younger students with their techniques, keeping them engaged, or even demonstrating proper behavior and focus.

Talk to the Parents: If appropriate, have a respectful conversation with the parents of the children involved. Express your concern in a non-confrontational manner, focusing on how their children’s behavior affects the overall quality of the class for everyone.

Suggest Separate Classes: If your club has enough members, you could suggest the idea of having separate classes for adults and children, especially if the age and skill gap is significant. This would allow both groups to train at their own pace without hindering each other’s progress.

Lead by Example: During training, set a positive example by demonstrating focus, discipline, and respect for the instructor and fellow students. Your dedication can inspire others, including the children, to follow suit.

Supportive Encouragement: When you notice a child making an effort or behaving well, offer words of encouragement and praise. This can reinforce positive behavior and create a more cooperative atmosphere.

Patience and Understanding: Remember that children are still learning and may not fully grasp the expectations of a karate class. Try to exercise patience and understanding, recognizing that they too are there to learn and grow.

Seek Alternatives: If you find that the situation doesn’t improve and it significantly impacts your training, consider discussing alternative training options with your instructor, such as private lessons or advanced classes.

Approaching the issue with empathy, open communication, and a willingness to collaborate with both the instructor and parents can help create a more harmonious training environment for everyone involved.

Best of luck with your training!

---

Have a burning question? Ask our dojo specialist here…